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killing yourself to live...
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Lindsay's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Thursday, April 5th, 2007
8:08 pm
Sometimes....
..I just wish someone would give a shit. ....

Current Mood: annoyed
Saturday, November 11th, 2006
11:11 am
Is it just that I expect too much, or am I too understanding?

Yesterday didn't feel right.
It felt like inconvenience
Obligation, A child to be entertained.
more important things could not be sacrificed.
as always, blind acceptance. fake a smile. Reassure them.
move half-dead, a machine in the motions. hide away the core.
faulty wings, empty hearts, broken promises,
A ghost of a girl. A shell of a human being.
damaged goods, peel back the skin.
wounds of the body, scars of the soul.
on display, the external as the internal.

100 bruises, 1000 lines.
never sufficient.

just another day. just another year.
just another disappointment.

Current Mood: ?
Sunday, August 27th, 2006
9:41 pm

Could my life resemble a 3-D illusionistic photograph?
If I blur my vision and view it from a different angle, would it make more sense to me?
Would I find the hidden meaning behind all the clutter that disguises itself as part of the big picture?

I'm not sure it will ever be that simple. 
It's all too complicated for me to handle. Perhaps I should just blur everything from here on out, to never focus on anything in particular. 

Am i taken it all too seriously, or is it just a game I don't understand?

Sometimes I feel like I'm surrounded by a group of second graders, cleverly disguised in the skin of a twenty-something. 
"This is secret time"

You're all so ridiculous. 
Grow up
 
The faces you hide from me are no longer blurred like those of the 3-D illusion.
I see where the battle lines are drawn. 

Playtime is over.



Current Mood: annoyed
Thursday, July 20th, 2006
10:44 pm
The chronicles of camping...with pictures!
Welcome to Bass Lake...
It's just a short drive away....well, not really...

ugh. Now it's back to a month and a half of work. Every day. I need a vacation from my vacation. 
When does school start again? I miss everyone from York.

Current Mood: blank
Saturday, June 17th, 2006
10:15 pm
a month ago,  i write on the sheet at my work "I need the 25th off". 
This is not a "want". It is a "need".
I need to go to pride, to escape my job, to see my friends.
Clearly, i do not get the 25th off.

i am so frustrated with my job right now.
I've applied to seven other places. I'll take anything to leave my current employment.
i mean, anything.I even have an interview at the drive-in tomorrow, and their hours are 7-2 a.m.

i feel so disconnected. Everything, and everyone, is rushing past me and i'm standing still.
no social life. the personal hell that is my job. I'm lacking movement. Momentum. Drive.

I completed my course selection. I couldn't schedule them all on two days. I was hoping that would be possible. I lack the energy to commute three days a week. I'm not sure why, but two days seems much more manageable, and three days seems impossible. My sister says i'm just lazy. She will understand soon enough. Keera begins classes at York in September.

Perhaps I'll just be sick, couincidentally, on the 25th. i'm not sure what to do. 

Oh, look..a distraction?
Most of you are aware of how infrequently i post on here, and my participation on myspace is even more dismal. However, i often receive messages from people wanting to be my friends(for unknown motives) and wanting to get to know me. Most of the time i respond, surprised with their interest in someone who has very little interest in the site. However, this one baffles me...

"hello lady
I was just fooling around when i suddenly came accross ur pic and believe me,i was totally swept off my feet cos it takes a queen to make me feel the way i am feeling right now.looking at ur eyes lift me up in the sky and if my feelings for u was water,i would have sent u the rain to show u how precious and beautiful u are, and however incase you want contact me this is my email address tokscutenigerboy@yahoo.com ok u can also send me ur yahoo id so that we can come online and talk better UNIVERSITY OF LAGOS STUDENT....toks "

First of all, you don't even put your name in your message. That comes off as a tad sketchy. You also address me as lady, when my name is on my page. While i'm flattered and appreciate the message, I personally find these "i love you" proclaimations on the internet awkward. I don't know you, and you don't really know anything about me from my myspace page. Oh, and spellcheck is your friend. I really want to edit his comment right here. It bothers me quite a lot.

Of course, I'm writing this response to myself, and all of you, but not to him. It's a little harsh. Also, I really just don't care. He probably doesn't care, and he's probably already written the same comment to five other girls. And they probably bought the bullshit. Such is the population of myspace. No offense.

I was hoping to conclude the entry with something important to say. I can never write these things. Every entry feels unfinished. Incomplete. I'll return to my obscurity on livejournal, but i will continue to enjoy the reading.


Current Mood: contemplative
Saturday, March 18th, 2006
2:40 am
.....
Following the entry of st.paddy's joy, I felt really empty. My whole body was a hollow shell, devoid of emotion. Inadequate. this is so inadequate, so pathetic a description it mirrors my own feelings of worthlessness. Or does it justify them?What i'm trying to say seems unattainable, as if the perfect description of my current state were an object simply out of reach. I should invest in private entry, to describe the indescribable. Save everyone the confusion, and possibly likely, the annoyance as well. Stop trying to say something, k.b. You don't know how.

I want to be a writer. shocked(?), or is that also the wrong characterization?

dejected, dispirited, depressed, downhearted, destroyed, disconsolate, down, discontent, dismal.

It's as if d was the rejected letter; disliked, disagreed with, dispised, detested.

Words seem so inadequate. Can it all be conveyed in just a word?

inevitably pointless, ridiculous, vain attempt, wasted effort; see this entry.

There's so too much to consider. Stop obssesing, Paranoia. Anxiety. Uncertainty. Irregularity. What's the word?

Perhaps this entry is starting to read like Finnegan's Wake. Should i continue with a continuous paragraph.  At least the words are formatted, not enormous. Less idiosyncratic. 

"Ireland sober is Ireland stiff!..Your prayers, I sonht zo! Madammangut! Your rere gait's creakorheuman bitts your butts disagrees..."

Seems somewhat appropriate, and yet, entirely not. ?

There are no conclusions, no statements of importance, no musings of interest.

Hope you all enjoyed the day, and completely disregard this entry in your drunken stupor. 

Dia Guit! Um diggum tu geurlen?
Perhaps i'll just stick with dot language.


Current Mood: discontent
Friday, February 10th, 2006
11:10 pm

 

...My dad brought me Miso soup. There was no reason. He just thought I'd enjoy it...

*shifty eyes*

I think he's on to me. Who has he been speaking to?

i'm not sure i'll be able to have the soup though. It makes me think of...... ......

..... ... ..... .....-you know-...... .. ... ....



Current Mood: curious
Tuesday, January 31st, 2006
9:30 am

At my cousin Janet's sixteenth birthday, my grandfather asked if I could change my last name so no one would know we are related.

It works both ways, Conservative bastard.



Current Mood: blah
12:17 am

it took so long to get around to doing this. I'm such a procrastinator. I'm supposed to be writing an essay right now. I think i'll put it off for a few days.

Queer night was exciting. Drinking and dancing, though not enough of both. I was constantly being dragged outside for smokes, by people i knew, and people i didn't.

I'm still mourning the loss of Edwin the bear. He's nursing a stomach wound, and the loss of part of his shirt, thanks to Jamal. He fell victim to a cigarette burn. Poor Edwin.

I feel not much needs to be said of the night of queerdom. This picture will accurately sum up the night for most of its patrons:

<img src="http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e350/lins11/queernightjan006.jpg" alt="Image hosting by Photobucket">

out of focus.

talkingCollapse )

Current Mood: pensive

Wednesday, January 25th, 2006
8:54 pm
...musings on memes and a very drunk queer boy...
I suspect i may have been one of the people not expected to complete the quizzage. If I wasn't, then Muah! Defiance. If i was, then yay!. A Distraction.


Ground Rules: The first player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 Guilty Pleasures" and people who get tagged need to write an LJ entry about their 5 Guilty Pleasures as well as state this rule. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their names.

1) writing in this when there are so many more important things i must do...(but i don't feel guilty)
2)vegan cookies....many vegan cookies
3) sitting on my roof, smoking dope and looking at the stars.
4) dancing in the rain barefoot
5) pain (in all its forms)...but i don't feel guilty about that either. I fail at this meme.

And, while I'm here...

1. what is your middle name?
...i'm afraid that's confidential information, as it's been used against me in the past*shifty eyes*

2. what size is your bed?
small..for I am a very large person..

3. what are you listening to right now?
nothing, but I hear a song from RENT in my head...

..take me for what I am, who I was meant to be..

5. what was the last thing you ate?

...fries. I feel so unhealthy right now.

6. Last person you hugged?

Arun?

7. how is the weather right now?

..too much like spring..

8. who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
..my dad..

10. do u have a G/F B/F?
..no...and would it really have been that much effort to add in the y and o?

11. do you want children?
no thanks, I'm good...

12. do you drink?
yes please.

13. ever get so drunk you don't remember the entire night?
a few times...that i know of.

14. hair color?
i think it's a brownish color right now...until tomorrow, i hope.

15. eye color?
blue

17. favorite holiday?
school holiday..

18. favorite season?
winter

19. ever cried for no reason?
that's quite a random one for this line of questioning, not to mention awfully personal. "How's the weather?....are you feeling really shitty about yourself?"...what the fuck?

20. last movie you watched?
slc punk

21. how many mirrors are in your room?
1

22. whats your favorite song?
I don't have a favourite, but i like judith by apc and i'm a fake by the used a lot.

23. have u ever stole from a store?
really! it's only two extra letters!.....no, but i used to steal from kid's houses when i was a kid.

24. do you enjoy the sensational taste of starbucks?
no, not particularly.

25. does the word "horcrux" mean anything to you?
Harry Potter?

26. do you have any friends of the gay preference?
wow. You've master the use of the "you"*thumbs up*. I think a more appropriate question here would be do i have any friends of the straight preference....and i will have to think about the answer to that.

27. do you think jesus is great?
Jesus is my homeboy.

28. is cheese like the best food ever, or what?
By adding in the "or what" you seem to imply that I must agree with you on that. No, cheese is not "like the best food ever". It is "like made from the pain and suffering of a living thing". Isn't that "like so not cool"?

29. what books are you reading?
many books, but i should be reading Pride and Prejudice for a class.

30. piercings?
oh, yes please!.....ears, cartialage, nipples, lip, daith, tongue, both sides of my nose.

31. favorite movie?
garden state, slc punk, trainspotting, donnie darko, the nightmare before christmas,

32. favorite college football team?
ew.

33. what were you doing before filling this out?
eating?

34. any pets?
calvin and betsy.

35. dogs or cats?
i have cats, but i like both.

37. have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to do?
yesss*shifty eyes*

38. have you ever loved someone?
yes.

39. who would you like to see right now?
adam.

40. are you friends wit any of your exs?
"friends" is a such a strong word.

41. have you ever fired a gun?
yes.

42. do you like to travel by plane?
I like to go to places, which must be done sometimes by plane.

43. right or left-handed?
I wish i was left-handed...so by process of elimination, i am ______.

44. if you could be with someone right now who would it be?
um, i believe we already went through this.

45. how many pillows do you sleep with?
2.

46. are you missing someone?
yes.

47. Do you have a tattoo?
yes.

48. do you still watch cartoons on Saturday morning?
I sleep on saturday morning.

49. are you hiding something from someone?
I am hiding many things from many people.

50. most annoying thing about you?
i probably don't notice the most annoying thing. Anyone feel free to inform me.

And, now...

Image hosting by Photobucket

ahahahahahahah, Adam. You were sooo drunk. I love it.

Current Mood: indescribable
Monday, January 16th, 2006
5:09 pm
random thoughts.....

my thoughts in the last ten minutes:

mmmm...i need tofu......i'll go get that. ...grrr...vcr malfunctioness...ew. hilary duff....what is she wearing?....why am i watching this?...what the fuck?is she singing to a bottle?..ohhh!it's a glass microphone...that makes sense. CHANGE THE CHANNEL!...yes...i did it!...man, i need a drink...yes! that 70's show.....ahahahahahahah..ha.

Leo: you don't look like you have a glass eye!

Hyde: that's becaouse it's space age glass.

Leo: Awesome! Your eye was in space!

I heart Leo!....oh man, so much work to do!...ahhhh!history presentation...why am i thinking about work?!?....aha, these chips will distract me!..oh shit, the computer is falling!....now i really need a drink....wtf!stupid conservative ad propaganda bullshit!....ah!it's  hilary duff again!..can't escape it!   falcon beach?...what the fuck is that? stephen harper with a goat?...ew, that's animal cruelty.....

"the years have been short but the days were long, ...a thousand summers past".....

i wish this could have been translated to dot language. then only some could understand it...         ......   .  . .  .... ..... ... .. ... . ... . . .. . ....... ... . . . . . . .... .

"and secretly i want you buried in the yard"....

...do i need to go to the bank?...i'll just ignore her.  ooooh.there are chimes at the end.

"hold your glass up!....this is way beyond...."

reminds me of garden state. I *heart* that movie.

Signing off,

....... . . . . . . ...... . ..... . .....

I have some work to do.

 



Current Mood: high
Tuesday, December 20th, 2005
9:50 pm

vegan cookies make everything better. Or at least make you forget....in their incredible yumminess.

I made perogies too. Kitchens should be cordoned off to me. My cooking is probably a health hazard.

My flight leaves on New year's day at 6:52. What the fuck?Who scheduled this?                   

They should be shot.                                                                                                                  

I'll have to be at the airport at four. I'll find a way...probably.

But i'm not staying in.

mmmmm....cookie...what was i talking about? :)

Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
7:09 pm
the "angry feminist punk vegan" submits....

filing has consumed my life...in the endless invoices, i spotted a "cafe margaux"..they lack the "e", but it's close, non?

i wish my room could be my whole universe right now(i'm listening to the song)...is death the only way out of the room?...i wish there was another way to escape....

.....accounts receivable.

                         i hate my job.

19 days left  . i won't celebrate new years in the airport.                                                         i refuse.        

johnny, mark, katies, keera, kyle, kayleigh (holy shit-the k-ness) and i will just have to meet them at the airport, after partying all night ...  we can sleep on the plane. if we get sick (as my aunt says the partyers will), at least we'll be doing it together. 

That's why were a family. (what a family) .....                                                                                         

does my lack of cuttage anger you?....good, good.

[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[always] I think I'm ugly, even...
[x] I have many scars.
[i always do ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[none of you have] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[x] I have a tattoo....i wish it was plural
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance....Everyone has a day...{maybe everyday}
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[ ] I wear glasses.
[never] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I have more than 2 piercings.
[x] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.


Family/Home Life

[x] I've sworn at my parents.
[x] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[ ] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.


School/Work

[x] I'm in school.
[ ] I have a job.
[many times ] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school. ....  ....i missed so much in grade eleven i should've failed on absence alone...am i prostar now??
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[x] I've stolen something from my job. ..ice cream...when i ate it.
[ ] I've been fired.
[x] I've skipped school.

Embarrassment

[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation
[x] Disney movies still make me cry....well, Bambi does...i defy you not to cry ...i would rewind it to make the mother come back to life.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[ ] I've glued my hand to something.
[x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public

Health

[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[a run in with a car] I've gotten stitches...the car won.
[x] I've broken a bone....the littlest toe (it's fucked up now, methinks)
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed....why exactly does everyone want to sign up for this?
[x] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.


Traveling

[ ] I've driven over 200 miles in one day...i can't drive...but i would, if i could.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to the U.S.
[soon ] I've been to Mexico.
[x] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[X] I've been to Europe
[ ] I've been to Africa.


Experiences

[x] I've gotten lost in my city....where is king and john again??
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a star.
[x] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts....and in the face (one was by accident)
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been Skiing.
[x] I've been in a play...the wizard of claus..my aunt wrote it(don't ask, its all been repressed)
[x] I've met someone in person from the internet
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[x] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night....smoking "cigarettes"
[x] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten Sushi...hold the raw fish.
[x] I've been snowboarding.


Relationships

[x] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've had someone cheat on me.
[x] I've gone on a blind date.
[x] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.(many people, actually)....
[ ] I have a fear of commitment.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[x] I've cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[ ] I've kept something from a past relationship.
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I love to flirt.
[i wish..someday] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.


Honesty/Crime

[x] I am a terrible liar.
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping (more than one) secret from the world....sssshhhh.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[ ] I've cheated on a test.
[ ] I've ran a red light.
[x] I've been suspended from school.
[ ] I've witnessed a crime.
[x] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[x] I've shoplifted.....not so much, but i used to rob the houses of the children i played with...when i was 9.


Drugs/Alcohol

[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[x] I've passed out from drinking...tequila is not my friend
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[x] I smoke
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[x] I've smoked pot.
[ ] I'm a stoner.
[ ] I've snorted coke.
[ ] I've eaten mush.
[x] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick....i might overdose on vitamin c and flintstone vitamins...
[x] I can't swallow (some) pills...i crush up aspirin when i have a headache...
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem AND WITHOUT WATER!


Depression and Self-harm

[x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it....
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[used to be ] I'm addicted to self harm.
[ ] I've woken up crying.
[x] I've cried myself to sleep.
[x] I've seen a therapist.
[ ] I am seeing a therapist.

Death and

[ ] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I've seen someone dying...
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[x] I've planned my own death.
[x] I've attempted suicide.
[x] I've written a eulogy for myself.


Materialism

[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[ ] I own something from The Gap....um, ew....no.
[ ] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.

.....i must voice my dislike for that catergory. what the fuck is pac sun?
Political/Social Attitudes

[x] In general, I don't like people....i don't generally dislike people (i have my reasons)
[x] I'm a feminist.
[shy bitch ] I'm very outgoing.
[x] I listen to political music.
[ ] I'm Democratic.
[ ] I'm Republican.
[ ] I'm liberal.
[ ] I don't like Bush because he is dumb.
[x] I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
[ ] I'm religious.
[crazy random] I dress fairly modestly.
[ ] My attitude is, "If you've got it, flaunt it."....do i have "it"?
[x] I'm pro-choice.


Random

[x] I can sing well.
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily...people think i'm a bitch when they first meet me because i don't say much.
[x] I watch the news.
[x] I don't kill bugs....except the ones with all the hairy legs....(my brother calls them randalls, like the monsters inc villian)...and earwigs....just randalls and earwigs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme
[x] I curse regularly.
[ ] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.

[x] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.....we are the champions, my friend ..i just vibrate now.
[ ] I'm a snob about grammar....but i do like to edit.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[if it was longer ] I twirl my hair...
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[x] I like being neat...it's getting to a level of some semblance of neatness that's the problem
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day.
[just special brownies] I bake well.
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[i do] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[x] I know how to shoot a gun.
[ ] I am in love with love.
[ew] I am guilty of typing like this.....no...it was bothering me so much i changed it.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes....
[ ] I eat fast food weekly.
[ ] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[wishful thinking ] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[ who told you?] I am really ticklish. *shifty eyes*
[ ] I love white chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails. ....i pick at my cuticles.
[ ] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[x] I'm good at remembering names
[x] I'm good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

[x] My answers are totally honest (?)......

"it's no use going back to yesterday, i was a different person then..".



Current Mood: contemplative
Thursday, December 8th, 2005
11:59 am

525, 600 minutes, 525, 000 moments so dear,

525, 600 minutes, how do you measure..measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee….

How do you measure a year in the life?

I’m getting all into the Christmas spirit..well, as much as I am going to get into it.

Let’s celebrate a year in the life of friends…

I haven’t found anything for anyone yet. I have no idea…

Absolutely none.

I’ll try looking this weekend.

I just finished writing my last essay. I am done..

….until January.

I’m a little excited about going away.

I would rather stay in one place for the whole time.

Get to know the people there.

Not going with my family would also make it better.

I have a really big suitcase, and not a lot of clothes.

Anyone?….?

 

“To being an us for once instead of a them…”

I love this song. Love.

I want a soy burger now.

Oh, and a quiz.

It will not be cut. I haven’t used this in a very long time.

I forget. If you complain, I will CUT you. J

Love. So much love.


FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE:

1. Working for my dad…uhhh.
2. Dairy Queen..never again!
3. Secretary for TBLGAY?
4. Okay, I clearly fail at this quiz…I’m done at 3.

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:

1. Trainspotting
2. SLC Punk
3. The Nightmare Before Christmas
4. Garden State

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN:

1. Etobicoke…I’m glad I was only one, so I don’t remember it.
2. Oakville
3. Missisauga
4. Shit…why can I never have 4 of anything?…

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH:

1. Lost
2. Family Guy
3. Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
4. Little Britain(even though I’ve only seen a few episodes)

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION:

1. Florida
2. Montreal
3. New York ..but that was for school, and anything for school is not vacation
4. France

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:

1. livejournal
2. hotmail
3. Yahoo
4. ..I hate the number 4...

FOUR OF YOUR ALL-TIME FAVOURITE RESTAURANTS:

1. Some restaurant I went to with limpfist..and I can’t remember the name.
2. Bombay Bheleul (I am spelling that really wrong)
3. Indian flavour..I have a lack of restaurantage, okay.
4. Bo

FOUR OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOODS:

1. Vegetable sushi
2. Vegan indian
3. Vegan cookies
4. bruchetta


FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:

1. Standing in the rain..well, dancing…barefoot.
2. In my bed.
3. South America..in a few weeks J
4. With my friends.

I'm going to see Narnia on the weekend. I am so excited.

I have an ear infection. Ouch.

Ouch.



Current Mood: blah
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
12:39 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAYCINE!!!!!!!!!!!!YAY!!!!!!

that is all. now imma off to the vegan grocery storeness i've been lokkin forward to. Hope everyone's okay, and plans for the weekend, if i do not go to ma cottage:I THINK SO!....talk to you all later!
Sunday, May 1st, 2005
9:32 pm
quizinessessessss...Collapse )

Current Mood: tired
Friday, April 29th, 2005
9:32 pm
imma kinda slow to gettin to things.....
..not to mention ma comp has been fuckin with me....

herpes, herpes! All around me!....Collapse )

Current Mood: content
Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
10:21 pm
why bother?.....
so i wrote ma last exam tonight, overjoyed that in mere hours i would be free!..homan, i had no fuckin idea what i was doin, i just couldn't wait to get outta there...then i got my creative work back, which i had actually been lookin forward to because i had been really into doing it and i had spent a lot of time on it. I should never get my hopes up about things. It always ends badly. So, apparently I didn't "fulfill the requirements of the project" and my project did not fit into the creative work catergory, according to her, and it wasn't one of the proposed essay topics, thus leaving my project to be a total and complete failure. UHHHHHHHHHH!...why the fuck do i bother putting effort into ANYTHING at all?...i worked ridiculously hard on this project only to find out that i don't know a fuckin thing. all the other projects i don't give a shit about are fine, but when i finnaly actually care about something i fail at it. i feel sooo shitty now. what a fuckin wasted stupid fuckin piece of shit year!!!!!!!!her comments make me feel like an idiot. feel oh so shitty. i resign. i stop caring. no point. on top of it all, i feel sooo physically shitty right now too. this is like the icing on top of the craptacular week i'm having. i want to die. i want to just curl up somewhere and have the world stop buggin the shit out of me, tellin me constantly that i've failed. i failed again.
god, i am so glad this year is over......i just want it all to be over...

Current Mood: depressed
Sunday, April 17th, 2005
4:31 pm
orange!..i like fruits too...
i was tryin to save the last of ma pot for laters, but the savvage of pot, it's just not right, not right at all...
i smoked the lil' bit left with the new orange flav papers i gots...
mmmm...orangeniness.....
but now none left...boourns
i should be a studyin'..i don't wanna.....boourns to that too...
homan, i need to read the woman in white, ...ah well, that's only 624 pages, it should't take too long...just whip right through it..
UGH.

ow. ma ear hurts.
aspeakin a that, arun, where's the screamin'....imma waitins....

still waitin.

i need more melba toast.

Current Mood: high
Thursday, April 14th, 2005
12:15 pm
OH.....MY .......GOD!!!!!!
oh ma god! OH MA GOD!!!!!!!!

I GOT MY SCHOLARSHIP TODAY.....FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

now, to plan some adventuring...cuz money is KEY, to the stupid adventuring i have in mind!...omg, tattooage and piercingness...i think so!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!

now back to typing minutes...see you all tomorrow!

YAY!!!!!!!

Current Mood: OHMAGOD!!!!!
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